We've been talking a lot lately about which road to take ... keep the flag flying and end up bankrupt by trying to pay 2 lawyers, a spiteful wife and child psychologists to repair the damage done by said spiteful wife in hopes of seeing the children again - its been 3 years since the last visit (despite all efforts to the contrary); or swallow the bitter pill of never seeing the children again or the spiteful wife, and just file for a divorce and a future. I don't relish P the final decision he has to make.
I think walking away is the better choice, even though the heartache of giving up is going to be unbelievably bitter ... could I do it? I don't know. N is so full if hatred that she has vowed to make him pay for as long as he lives, how do you contend with that? How do you raise your children with any semblence of normalcy when every hug or time-out is called into consideration .... how can you be a loving parent when someone is just waiting for you to make a mistake? Its gotta be so damn hard.
I despise women like her ... she wants nothing to do with P, but swears if he divorces her she'll take everything she can, including any future pensions & plans ... why? Her response in court is "because I can". I'll be honest and say outright ... I don't want her in my future. I don't want her greed and hatred taking my childs college fund. I don't want her spite to stand in the way of our future - at 40 years young, I've already gotten the boots from Life a time or two, I've been pushed down and walked on in Life and I think I've earned and deserve the chance to be happy.
I think walking away is the better choice, even though the heartache of giving up is going to be unbelievably bitter ... could I do it? I don't know. N is so full if hatred that she has vowed to make him pay for as long as he lives, how do you contend with that? How do you raise your children with any semblence of normalcy when every hug or time-out is called into consideration .... how can you be a loving parent when someone is just waiting for you to make a mistake? Its gotta be so damn hard.
I despise women like her ... she wants nothing to do with P, but swears if he divorces her she'll take everything she can, including any future pensions & plans ... why? Her response in court is "because I can". I'll be honest and say outright ... I don't want her in my future. I don't want her greed and hatred taking my childs college fund. I don't want her spite to stand in the way of our future - at 40 years young, I've already gotten the boots from Life a time or two, I've been pushed down and walked on in Life and I think I've earned and deserve the chance to be happy.
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have winced but not cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloodied but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
by William Earnest Henley
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